Melanie and Ivey's gap year

Here we go!!

Leaving Hawaiʻi was weird. I was ready to leave, but at the same time it was SO HARD. I’m not sure it has fully hit me that I’m not going back. In that swirl of feelings, Seattle felt like the right place to land. Logistically, it made sense with the list of goals and priorities Ivey and I designed: it was an easy place to ship the car, it held two groups of people we absolutely needed to see, and it gave us room to move in any direction afterward. Outside of logistics, though, I was drawn to the area because of the things I was missing in Hawaiʻi—weather, seasons, space, variety. Oh boy did it deliver.

We arrived on the evening of June 25th and headed to our first Airbnb, just a simple room about a mile from the airport. Easy peasy. Without our car, we used Lyft to run to the grocery store for food. The next day, we had our appointment to pick up our car, and it was so glorious to have her back.

Being in Seattle was absolutely wonderful. The whole time we were there, I could not get over the wild nature everywhere. One of the things Hawaiʻi could never really satisfy for me was the need for accessible, truly wild nature. Hawaiʻi has nature—beautiful nature—but I found it hard to access freely, limited to designated areas, and crowded. Washington immediately filled a gap I had been longing to satisfy. It was so green and luscious. There was texture everywhere we looked, and we were surrounded by trees and plants everywhere we went. I could not get over it and could definitely see myself living somewhere on the western side of the PNW.

When we arrived, we were prepared for the “heat dome” everyone kept talking about across the US… but instead, Washington was experiencing what our friends lovingly called “June‑uary.” It was so cold! Ivey and I did NOT pack for that. We had to go shopping for hats, long sleeves, and raincoats. Once we were more prepared, we were able to enjoy it more, but it was a rough few days getting there. Watching Ivey learn to layer felt like watching her step into a whole new version of childhood—one with seasons.

I found us a pet sit in Shoreline, a suburb on the northern side of Seattle, and it was the perfect location. The family we pet sat for was so kind and generous. We spent two weeks taking care of a sweet elderly cat named Sparky. She was the quiet queen of the house and seemed to like us for the first few days. She ended up needing injections periodically, so her mom, Karmina, arranged for another pet lover, Amy, to come give her medicine. Between Amy’s visits and Ivey and I being strangers in her home, Sparky had a lot going on, but we did our best to keep her days gentle. It was a joy to spend time with her, and I feel like I made new friends in Karmina and Amy. I’m so grateful we had such a lovely place to land—it helped start our journey with a positive, loving tone.

We were able to visit with Dustin’s sister (and therefore Ivey’s Aunt), Jennifer, three times while we were there. Ivey has met her before and calls her 姑姑 (gūgu), the Chinese term for “father’s sister.” It was wonderful to see her and spend so much time together. Jennifer took us exploring Puget Sound beaches, hiking in the Mt. Baker–Snoqualmie National Forest, joined us on a troll hunt, and taught Ivey how to skip rocks. Ivey has spent her whole life separated from relatives, and it’s important to me that she knows who they are and has some sort of relationship with them. Jen is a big explorer and nature lover, so we were able to meet her in her happy places. She introduced us to a nature learning and tracking app called iNaturalist, and now Ivey and I are learning about—and “collecting”—plants, animals, fungi, and more everywhere we go.

Seeing Ivey connect with someone in her family was really special. Living in Hawaiʻi, she didn’t have relatives nearby to visit or build relationships with. It makes me a little sad to know she won’t have childhood memories of big family gatherings or deep family bonds. I’m hoping this trip can help establish more connections and memories, and this was a wonderful first step.

Another purpose of this stop was to visit one of Ivey’s best friends, Ruby. The girls went to school together for three years before Ruby’s family moved to Washington two years ago. They stayed in contact and always get together whenever they’re in the same place. They are sleepover queens and can entertain each other for days. We were invited to their Fourth of July picnic, so we drove up to visit. As we approached the driveway, we heard Ruby squeal from inside the house. The girls immediately started playing like no time had passed. It was incredible to see how strong their connection is over time and distance. While they ran around being kids, I caught up with Angela and Bill and met some of their friends. I had to get back to take care of Sparky, so I left Ivey at the picnic for fireworks and a sleepover.

The next day, after hours of swimming and some blueberry picking, Angela brought the girls back to Seattle. Together, we ventured off to watch a Women’s Minor League soccer game. Seattle was hosting the World Cup and everyone had soccer fever. I couldn’t get us into a World Cup match, but supporting a women’s team was just as incredible—and much more our speed. Ruby plays soccer, so being there together was exciting for everyone. Even better, we watched the local team, Salmon Bay FC, win their regional playoff.

One of the (many) purposes of this trip is to show Ivey that just because we don’t live near the people we love doesn’t mean they aren’t part of our lives. I want her to know proximity does not equal the strength or value of a relationship. She had a list of people she wanted to see, and I had my own list. This visit with Ruby was a perfect example for her to see that she can maintain relationships from a distance. It can be hard for Ivey to connect with people, but when she does, she goes in deep and fully. It’s special to watch her friendships grow, and I look forward to seeing how she navigates this on our journey.

After I posted on social media that we were doing this, some friends from my Navy career reached out. I met up with my friend Michele and her husband Sean. Michele and I served in Japan together and hadn’t seen each other in about 15 years. It’s lovely seeing someone after so long and falling right back into old comfort zones. Michele recently retired, and she and Sean are on their own adventure—they just purchased a working cranberry farm! It was a wonderful example of “you never know what opportunities will come up” if you’re open to them. I look forward to coming back with Ivey around harvest season to see how it all works. I wasn’t able to catch everyone I wanted to, but we had to listen to our rhythm. I ended up canceling a trip to Whidbey Island to give Ivey a requested day at home. Sorry Mike—next time.

When we weren’t spending time with friends and family, we were out exploring or laying low at the house. For my 40th birthday (woohoo!), I got to choose what we did- a Yes Day. First, we went raspberry picking at a U‑pick farm. Ivey had never been to one before, and she loved it. We stuffed ourselves with berries and took home enough to feed a small village. After that, I wanted to go troll hunting. There is a Danish artist, Thomas Dambo, that makes giant troll statues out of reclaimed wood and places them around the world. The Seattle area has five trolls, and I wanted to find them. I figured this would be a fun scavenger hunt for us as we travel. We ended up finding four.

Seattle is a very “visitable” city with lots of famous activities and landmarks. If I’m being honest, I wanted to jump in and do all of them with Ivey—Space Needle, Pike Place, the Ferris wheel. We did none of them. It turns out Ivey is less of a “peak tourist attraction” person and more of a low‑key visitor. Something I knew, then forgot, and had to be reminded of. So instead of checking those boxes, we visited Ballard Locks to watch boats, explored botanical gardens, played at arcades, did adventure courses, and ran around Puget Sound beaches. We drove our car onto ferries to two different locations. She wanted to stay in the car but enjoyed the ride and views nonetheless.

During our quiet days at home, we made homemade bread and raspberry and blackberry jam to go with it. We cooked, did jigsaw puzzles, watched movies, exercised, and tried to enjoy the slower moments. It was nice to balance the new and exciting with the slow and comfortable. It helped me keep my energy and intention in check as the days passed.

When we got to Seattle, it was easy to jump into the go‑go‑go pace of traveling. My original goal was to slow travel—to breathe and enjoy the environments we’re in. Reflecting on my time in Washington, I feel like we went harder than I hoped, but I also understand that slowing down after 20 years of fast‑paced living is going to be a process. Ivey is good at letting me know when we’re doing too much; I just need to make sure I’m paying attention. Hopefully at our next stop, we can practice slowing down more.

I’ve always been a fan of Washington, but until now I don’t think I could have explained why. Upon arrival, I was immediately taken away by the lush nature and the incredible colors and textures surrounding us. Every time I drove, I was captivated by the plants constantly enveloping us. In Hawaiʻi, I always talked about how I was missing “nature,” even though Hawaiʻi is known for its beauty. To me, it felt limited—overrun by people, development, or off‑limits areas. Always fighting for parking, sharing beaches with lifeguard stands and boundaries, wondering if a hiking trail was legal or if I was trespassing. Washington didn’t feel like that. It felt infinite, like I wasn’t just visiting nature but being embraced by it. My nervous system finally had space to breathe, with quiet stillness in abundance. The skies felt wider and the forests felt endless. It was exactly what my soul needed.

Washington taught me more than I expected—about travel, about myself, and about how I want this year to feel. Here’s what I’m carrying forward:

• Packing cubes are the greatest thing since sliced bread. They keep things organized, make the suitcases usable, and somehow hold more.
• While packing cubes are great… I am a terrible packer. I did not pack in a way that makes sense for this journey. I need to reorganize so I’m not digging through all four suitcases every day.
• Slowing down is a practice—and not an easy one in this day and age. I am determined to figure it out.
• Community will show up in unique ways if we let it. I was worried about how we’d find connections outside of what we planned, but already I feel like I’ve made new friends.
• Washington is a place I could come back to and live. My soul felt very at home here.
• We can do everyday, normal things and still have a memorable visit.
• It’s okay not to do everything.

After more than two weeks of troll hunting, berry picking, ferry riding, and forest wandering, we were ready to move on to the next spot. Washington had been a replenishing and refreshing landing. We loaded up our jam jars, grabbed our raincoats, hugged our new friends goodbye, took one last deep breath of evergreen air, and pointed ourselves east toward Idaho. Time to eat some potatoes, hug one of my best friends in the world, and see what weird adventures come next.