Melanie and Ivey's gap year

After sharing the news of our adventure, we’ve been overwhelmed in the best way — so much support, excitement, and kindness. Everyone who has offered to connect or share their space: I’m taking note, and I’ll reach out if we end up near you. Thank you 🫶 It means so much to us.

It’s always a little scary to share a plan that’s unconventional. You never know who will cheer you on and who will make you second‑guess yourself. When I first started thinking seriously about a gap year back in July 2025, I was terrified to tell anyone. But the more trusted people I shared it with, the more real it felt — like maybe we actually could do this and be okay.

To be completely transparent, I’m still scared. I’m not naturally a big risk‑taker. But I know deep down this is the right thing for us, and I would regret it if I didn’t try.

So now that the word is out… let’s talk logistics. These are some of the questions I am most often asked.

How is this exactly going to work?  

Ivey and I are taking a giant road trip across the US from June 2026 through November 2026. We’ll make our way from the West Coast to the Midwest, take a small break in Michigan. Then we will head down the East Coast to the South and finally back up to Michigan.

Around Thanksgiving 2026, we’ll fly to Europe for the second half of our gap year. We’re planning to spend winter and spring moving slowly through different countries — and if it feels right, maybe even longer. The whole point is flexibility, curiosity, and following what feels good for us.

Wait, are you renting a car or a camper?

Nope!  I shipped my car to the mainland from Hawaii.  It made it to Seattle about a week before we did, so we picked it up after we landed!  We are riding my Toyota Prius.  It’s… cozy, but has decent gas mileage!  Before we left, I put on brand new tires, new brake system, and my new friend Alex (at Prius Maximus) hooked me up with a brand new hybrid battery since the other one was near the end of it’s life.  Other than that, I can change a tire and will get regular oil changes/tire rotations along the way.  

What happened to all of your stuff?

Ivey and I got rid of probably 80% of the things in our house.  I let Ivey choose what of hers she wanted to keep (nearly everything) and I did the same with my stuff (got rid of nearly everything).  We kept her bedroom set, but otherwise didn’t keep any furniture, and donated or dumped anything that wasn’t worth investing the time and energy into selling. Thank you to all my friends that helped me offload things, and be donation and dump run buddies.  What we decided to keep is on it’s way to Michigan.  Once we make it there late this summer, I will pick it up and place it in a storage facility near my family.  Since Michigan will be our home base, and family is there, it would make sense to keep it nearby but out of everyone’s way. 

So what about Ivey’s education?  

We’re doing a homeschool‑lite approach this year — really leaning into interest‑led learning. The whole point of this gap year is healing, rest, and connection, and a rigid curriculum doesn’t fit the spirit of what we’re trying to do.

I’m trusting that learning will happen naturally through travel: exploring new places, meeting people, navigating different cultures and languages, and experiencing the world in real time. She won’t be working through a workbook or following a strict schedule, but she will be learning — constantly.

If she decides to return to traditional school later, we’ll fill in any academic gaps then. Skills can always be caught up. Experiences like this are what shape a person for life.

Is it safe for a mother and daughter to travel alone?  

That’s a subjective question — and the honest answer is that it absolutely can be. I’m well aware that some places are safer for women and girls than others, so I’m doing my due diligence with every stop. Before we commit to a location, I research neighborhoods, read recent reviews, check local news, and make sure it aligns with what feels right for us.

For the road‑trip portion specifically, we’re keeping things very structured: we’re refraining from night driving, limiting each day to no more than 6–7 hours on the road, and building in frequent stops to stretch, move, and reset. We choose well‑lit, reputable lodging, trust our instincts, and keep our plans flexible. One of the biggest advantages of this whole adventure is that we’re in complete control — if something feels off, we can leave.

The challenge will be knowing when to push past normal discomfort and when to pivot, but I trust myself to make good choices and put our safety above everything else.

Are you just going to stay at hotels the whole time?

Nope!  We are doing a blend of accommodation options.  We are naturally going to use hotels and AirBnb when it makes sense.  We will also periodically stay at the houses of people we know and love, but I am trying to keep this option at a minimum.  Ivey and I do love the people we know, AND we are also both very introverted people and need space to protect our energy.  This is going to be a long journey, and so we don’t burn ourselves out early, we are minimizing cohabitating with others.  Friends and family- we love you!  It’s not you- it’s us. 

Another thing we’re doing is pet and house sitting! I learned about this while researching nomadic families, and it felt like the perfect fit for us. We joined a site called Trusted Housesitters, where pet owners post when they need sitters, and travelers can apply, interview, and be selected. It’s a simple bartering system: the pet owner gets free, reliable care, and we get a safe, comfortable place to stay — plus a furry friend or two for companionship.

We already have several confirmed sits across the US, which helps us keep travel costs down and also gives Ivey and me some much‑needed pet therapy along the way. It’s especially popular in Europe, so we’re hoping to find some really fun sits once we head overseas.

How are you paying for this?  

It’s a fair question — and honestly one of the most important ones. Without money coming in, there’s no travel. So here’s how I’m making it work.

The first thing I did was get myself out of debt. It took time and discipline, but it was the foundation for everything that came next. After retiring from the military, I now have my pension to rely on, along with a VA disability rating. Those two sources cover our baseline needs. I also have two small streams of passive income that I’m saving for emergencies and for settling down in the future.

I’m aiming for a budget of about $2,500 a month for both of us. That gives us enough room for groceries, lodging, gas, activities, and the occasional splurge or unexpected expense. The U.S. road trip is definitely the pricier portion, but Europe — if you look in the right places — can be surprisingly affordable.

To keep costs down, we’re cooking most of our meals, choosing simple accommodations, and using pet‑sitting whenever possible to reduce lodging expenses. We don’t need anything fancy — just a safe place to sleep, make food, and recharge. With careful planning and slow travel, this budget is doable.

You must have a ton of luggage!  

We definitely have some luggage! We have two full‑size roller bags, two carry‑on suitcases, and one travel backpack each. I brought mostly summer clothes for this first leg of the trip since we’ll be traveling in the dead of summer. Once we get back to Michigan before heading overseas, we’ll swap our summer gear for fall and winter clothes.

Along the way, we’ll collect things and hopefully offload the unnecessary items to keep the car comfortable and safe. Right now, everything has a place: I can see clearly out all the windows, nothing is stacked above seat level, and Ivey is cozy in the backseat with her collection of games, crafts, and snacks. It’s organized chaos — but it works.

And that’s the plan — at least the plan for now. Before I sign off, I want to share one last thing.

As we settle into this new rhythm, I’m reminding myself daily that this whole adventure is about slowing down, healing, reconnecting, and choosing a life that feels like ours. We don’t know exactly how every step will unfold — and that’s part of the magic. What I do know is that we’re moving with intention, curiosity, and a whole lot of trust.

Thank you for your interest, your encouragement, and your willingness to follow along as we figure this out. Your support means more than you know. I’ll keep sharing updates, stories, lessons, and probably a few misadventures along the way — and truly, keep the questions coming. Here’s to the great detour, and everything it will teach us.

(Don’t worry- we were on a ferry, I wasn’t driving 😉