Our Gap Year

With the turning of the new year, I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that we’re officially counting down to our departure from the island. If I’m being perfectly honest, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around leaving and not coming back — at least for now. Being in the service, it’s rare to stay in one place as long as I have, but somehow I did, and I’m grateful for the stability, groundedness, and community that came with it.

One thing that’s keeping me steady through all of this is reminding myself how lucky I’ve been to spend so many years here. This is a place people dream about visiting — a place some save their whole lives to see — and I got to call it home. I’ve had my ups and downs, sure, but Oʻahu has been just as much my home as Michigan ever was. Even if it hasn’t always been my favorite place to be, this island and the people I’ve met here will always hold a very special place in my heart.

To stay present during this transition, I’m choosing to celebrate and document these last few months on Oʻahu with a monthly recap. So… here comes January’s.

✨ January Vibe Check

This month hit me like a ton of bricks. If it were a weather pattern, it would absolutely be a “flash flood.” Suddenly it’s 2026 — the year I retire, the year we move, the year we start building a life without the safety net of the military. I’ve been waiting for 2026 for twenty years, and now that it’s here… wow. It’s a lot.

BUT! We can do this.

I’m a planner to my core. I’ve been mapping this out for years. The plan has changed at least a dozen times, and I’m currently overwhelmed with options — but honestly, having options is still a good place to be. Now it’s time to buckle down, put some of these ideas into motion, and start tackling the logistical stuff that makes this whole thing real.

🌀 Plot Twists, Mild Chaos, and “Are You Kidding Me?” Moments

There was a lot of chaos this month — the welcome, exhausting, fulfilling kind. My youngest brother, Preston, stayed with us for two weeks, and later my other brother, Eric, and my sister‑in‑law, Alyssa, joined us for a week. Admittedly, it was a lot happening all at once — especially since Ivey and I have never hosted visitors before — but it was so, so wonderful to spend that much one‑on‑one time with them.

This is the most time I’ve been able to spend with my siblings since joining the service, and it was the first time Ivey has been able to spend more than just a few hours with each of them. Being able to host them — and actually build and strengthen those family connections — meant so much to both of us. It pushed Ivey and me pretty far outside our usual energy and social comfort zones, and I’m incredibly grateful for it.

📦 Move Progress: The Countdown Chronicles

Progress this month was minimal, and that’s okay. I patched a few holes in the wall from where the TV was mounted and had to be removed to fix a leak in the wall. It’s not the greatest job I’ve ever done — not HGTV‑worthy, but it’ll pass inspection — and it was my first foray into creating a textured wall. Baby steps are still progress. Let’s see what other home projects I can get into…

💛 Ivey’s Corner (The Real Star of the Show)

This month was a big one for Ivey. She’s growing in ways that are hard to put into words, but the moments speak for themselves.

A few highlights:

• We went on a hike with Eric and Alyssa, and not only did she do the entire trail barefoot (!), she also went down a waterfall slide into a deep pool. Both of those things might seem small, but here’s why they’re not: she does not like getting nature‑dirty. No mud, no dirt, absolutely not. And sliding down rocks into a waterfall pool where she can’t see or touch the bottom? Normally a hard pass. But she chose to do both completely on her own, and she was so proud of herself — rightfully so.
• While Preston was visiting, snorkeling was at the top of everyone’s list. Ivey got a snorkel set for Christmas, but she struggled at first with feeling comfortable and figuring out how to breathe through it. Preston took her out to a shallow reef near our house and spent over an hour helping her get the hang of it. They ended up spotting some cool fish and a few sea cucumbers. Later, when Eric came, we all spent a morning snorkeling at Hanauma Bay. Ivey did a little bit there too — she wasn’t quite as confident as she was with Preston, but she gave it a solid try.
• While we were snorkeling, we could hear conversations happening around us. Ivey leaned in and whispered, “They’re speaking Chinese,” referring to a family nearby. Identifying foreign languages can be tricky, and the fact that she’s learned enough Chinese to recognize — and even understand it from a native speaker — out in the real world is genuinely exciting.

This month was full of Ivey’s favorite things, and there was a lot of joy. There was more hide‑and‑seek than I thought humanly possible, plus Twister, so much shave ice, feeding ducks, hiking, trying new things, and so much fun getting to know her uncles and aunt.

January was a lot, but it was ours — messy, meaningful, and full of tiny wins. Let’s see what February has in store… preferably with fewer wall‑patching projects.